By Jennifer Howard, MA
Keeping your children safe and healthy can become more difficult as they move into adolescence. Teens need (and demand) more privacy, independence and freedom to make decisions. While your teen’s behavior may cause you to feel as though you are no longer an important part of his or her life, the reality is that they need your guidance more than ever as they make the transition from childhood to adulthood. At times, it may seem as though communicating with your teen is impossible, but helping your teen deal with the challenges that present themselves will make your relationship stronger. By keeping the lines of communication open and respecting your teen’s opinions and feelings, it is much more likely that they will come to you when they have a difficult decision to make.
Sexuality can be a very uncomfortable topic for parents and teens to discuss, but considering the risks of pregnancy and diseases, it is too important not to talk about.
Talk early and often.
Prepare your child for the physical changes that will be taking place in their bodies before puberty. It will open the lines of communication for later discussions and increase their self-esteem. Answers questions as accurately as possible and if you are unsure about the answer, use it as an opportunity to look for the information together.
Look for discussion opportunities.
Television, movies and music have many sexual themes but usually do not address the real life consequences. While at home watching a TV show or in the car listening to the radio, use such opportunity to talk with your teen about topics such as unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STI’s).
Listen when your teen talks.
Effectively listening means that you are giving your full attention! Body language and facial expressions can often tell you a lot about how your teen is really feeling. Open, non-critical communication builds self-esteem in your teen, which helps them to resist peer pressure.
Stay involved in your teen’s life.
Friends play a big role in your teen’s life and can have both a positive and negative influence. Be sure your teen understands that even though you trust them, it is important for you to know who they are with and where they are spending their time.
Acknowledge the pressure and discuss the risks.
Your teen is very aware of their emerging sexuality. The physical changes of their body, peer group discussions and the media are all influencing their feelings and thoughts about sex. Conversations should acknowledge that sexuality is a normal part of development, while also exploring the risks of engaging in sexual activity. Be sure that they understand that abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid unplanned pregnancy, STI’s and the feelings associated with having sex before they were ready.
Share your feelings with your teen.
Express your feelings about love and intimacy with your teen. Instill upon them that relationships with their peers should always be respectful.
Remember that parenting is hard work, but well worth your time and effort!
